Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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