I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
