she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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