Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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