Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
