my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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