I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I bet he comes in French.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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