the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
