Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've blown a few things in my day
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My ATM looks so different sober.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i think im in europe. pls send help
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
