How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
