# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
