maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
