where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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