i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
