Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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