i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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