He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
