yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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