if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
