Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
