I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
