Clothes are such an inconvenience.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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