There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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