So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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