her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
