Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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