apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
