He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
