dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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