I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think my vagina is haunted
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
