I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
