how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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