and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
