im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize