He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
