I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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