Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
