You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
