Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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