I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
