I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize