She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dick very happy bro
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
