this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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