You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
