I just made out with a guy for $7.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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