wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize