I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
