Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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