Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
