absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
