it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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