if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
