forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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