There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize