ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
