so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize