May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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