WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
