I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
