I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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