Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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