Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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